Letting Go is Hard
by Asuka Murase
Summary: Schwarz and Ken all have a meal together, Ken can't help but notice there is something about Farf he can't put his finger on. Brad and Schu also seem to have something on their minds. Beware some kissing, but it's a cute chapter I think. I'm pleased.
1. Soccer Lessons

Spoilers: None  
  
Warnings: some sexuality  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Weiss... and I'm not making money via this  
Fanfiction.  
  
Pairings: Ken/Schu Brad/Schu  
Ken has moved in with Schwarz in order to get closer to Schu. Though getting closer to him is harder than he thinks.  
  
"Stop! No! You don't stab the ball!" Ken sat down on the ground in frustration and thought, he had been living here for the sole purpose of being with Schu, but it didn't seem to be worth it right now, no matter how hard he tried, Schu would still smile every time Brad walked into the room.  
  
Farf walked over to Ken and sat down next to him, "how on earth am I to stop it if I can't stab it?"  
  
"By grabbing it," Ken said with a frustrated look. "You grab the ball in mid-air and there you go."  
  
"How on earth am I supposed to just grab the ball out of the air?"  
  
"Why don't you let Brad take a stab at goalie," Ken said. "Brad! You're going to be the goalie now."  
  
"What!? He gets to stab and I don't?" Farf stood up screaming in protest.  
  
"No, he's just going to try it," Ken said standing up "Schu Schu?"  
  
"Stop calling me that," Schu said looking irritated.  
  
"Gomen. Any way, Schu I'm going to keep you at forward, is that okay with you?"  
  
"Yeah, I just kick the ball right?" Schu asked.  
  
"Yes, that's all you need to do," Ken said with a bright smile. He watched Schu run up to kick the ball, he had such grace with every step. Every movement of Schu's body left Ken staring in awe. Ken smiled lustfully at what he presumed to be the love of his life. Ken had been with many people over the years, but this was different. Every time the word Schu or any thing like it was spoken, Ken's heart would race like Ken was running the mile.  
  
Brad looked at Schu with a smile, he knew exactly what to do. He walked three steps to the right and raised his hand in the air. The ball hit his hand with a thud and fell to the ground, looking over at Ken, Brad noticed how he looked at Schu. The look in his eyes was not a look Brad saw often, he sometimes saw it in Schu's eyes. But that was only late at night, when the house was asleep. When only Brad and Schu were awake and could hold each other in the night. This was not a look that should be given by Ken, especially to someone like Schu. He kicked the ball towards Ken.  
  
Farf screamed out. "Ken look out!" allowing Ken just enough time to jump into the air and kick the ball back towards Farf, who kicked it towards Brad, knocking him in the face and taking him to the ground.  
  
"Damn, I saw that coming too," Brad swore to himself. "If that little bastard would just leave his eyes off of my Schu."  
  
Ken looked back to Schu, who was running to Bradley's aid. The smile on Ken's face fell as he saw the look in Brad's eyes when Schu helped him to his feet.  
  
The event became less entertaining to Ken with each step Schu and Brad took together. Ken looked at them all as they gathered around him, "okay guys. That's enough practice for today, Brad you're a good goalie. Almost as good of one as I was." he looked to Schu, smiling, then saw Schu's arm around Brad's shoulder, "Schu you were good too." The smile had faded from his face completely.  
  
Ken turned and began to walk back into the house. It was over, he and Schu never really had any thing in the first place. Now they were completely ignoring that they ever had anything together. Something had to be said to Schu, he would confront him tonight.  
  
Ken walked quietly down the hallway, he saw a crack between the door and the door jam into Schu's room. He didn't want to wake Schu up from his sleep. He turned around and began to walk back to his room, there was a loud thud. Ken turned and ran to the room, multiple grunts and groans from two different people could be heard in the room. Ken didn't know what to think, he didn't know what the sounds were exactly. He peaked into the room, and saw a large pink object on the floor moving around.  
  
At one end of it was a mix of orange and black. And at the other end it split into multiple pieces. What it was Ken could not be sure, it was too dark to decipher. "I love you Brad," could be heard in amongst the other sounds of heavy breathing.  
  
Ken turned and walked down back the corridor. 


	2. The Next Morning

"Good morning Ken," Schu said with a smile on his face.  
  
Ken looked up to Schu with a smile. Perhaps last night was all a dream. Perhaps every detail of Schu's body was not groped and fondled by his tall dark hared counterpart. Maybe even the counterpart wasn't even there. Ken looked up to see Brad with his arm on Schu's shoulder. Ken's heart sank lower than it had ever felt before in his life.  
  
The feeling of hatred, of guilt. the feeling of betrayal. All these feelings mixed into one began to build up inside Ken's body. No body would hurt him again, especially not Brad, not if he could help it. Ken turned and ran upstairs, tears streaking down his face.  
  
Farf walked down the corridor, randomly stabbing at things as he walked with boredom. Frequent sniffles could be heard from one of the rooms. He listened intently trying to find the source of the sound. Eventually, Farfarello found the source and began to follow it, he found his way to Ken's room. Farf knocked on the door.  
  
"Go away! I hate you all!" Ken screamed as he threw clothes from his dresser into a large suitcase. "I don't care what you say! I'm not going to play this game any more! Go back to your precious Bradley and tell him how much you love him! Tell him how wonderful he is and how he bangs your brains out! I don't give a fuck!"  
  
"Damn it ken, watch your language," Farf said as he opened the door with a comforting smile.  
  
Ken looked up slightly taken aback. Farf had never looked anything but malicious towards any thing as long as he had known him. Farf walked over and sat down on the bed.  
  
"What's the matter ken? What happened last night?" Farf asked concerned.  
  
"It's Schu, I thought he loved me. he doesn't love anybody but Brad."  
  
Farf put his hand on Ken's shoulder, "You shouldn't worry so much Ken. It doesn't suit you." Farf said with a smile. He huggled Ken as he sat there, "You have to understand, Schu originally loved Brad. Old loves aren't forgotten easily sometimes. but you get over them. I mean. I too, was once in love. It was a bittersweet time for me, I knew I was in love but never told him. I just watched him fall in love with others completely ignoring me." Farf looked down uncomfortably at his feet.  
  
"It's okay Farf, I'm sure he'll love you one day. No body goes unnoticed in their lifetime, especially in the topic of love."  
  
Farf looked over at Ken with a quiet smile. "Do you really think so? Do you really think he'll love me?. wait, you're the one who needs to be comforted. Ken, honestly I don't think you should fret over Schu, he was not the one for you, he is a malicious bastard. He'd attack you if he got angry, Brad can keep him in line. and that control over him is exactly what he wants." Farf paused for a moment, "Plus Brad is fairly decent in bed." He added blushing.  
  
"Oh my goodness, did you?" Ken asked with a look of interest.  
  
"Well. he was drunk. I was drunk. stuff happened." Farf then took a moment to breathe. "Ken, I have never nor will I ever sleep with Brad, that's just gross." Farf began to laugh loudly.  
  
"OH you butt-head! Don't scare me like that!" Ken screamed attempting to playfully tackle Farfarello to the ground. Both of them rolled on the ground for sometimes, joking and laughing.  
  
Nagi walked down the hallway listening to the sounds of the house. A quiet smile spread across his face as he heard Ken laughing. Ken had seen something rather disgusting the night before, and Nagi knew that at any rate if Ken was happy, he would be able to let go. There was no way Schu would give up Brad for any body.  
  
Nagi looked contemplatively at the door handle. He moved his hand around it and walked away laughing.  
  
Farf and Ken lay exhausted from all the roughhousing they had just done. "Thanks for that Farf, it means a lot. I really needed to cheer up, well I guess you'd better go downstairs now."  
  
"Yeah, I suppose," Farf said as we got up and walked to the door. He went to reach for the door handle but it would not turn, it was stuck in one position. "Ken, you idiot, where's the key?"  
  
"It only locks from that side buddy. You just have to turn the little knob right.er. there," a look of confusion settled on Ken's boyish face. "Well that's odd. So it's locked and it isn't moving or anything? And there isn't a key hole either?"  
  
"No. there isn't any way out at the moment."  
  
This is my first really yaoi fic. I hope you are enjoying it. I intend on explaining more in depth what is going on later in the fic, please review! I like to know what the readers think so I can decide what will happen next. fan service man! Fan service! 


	3. Locked Up

A bit of an explanation as to what happened and why he's there! Also some great Farf/Kenness!  
  
"Well. we can panic. that always works," Farfie suggested.  
  
"No, panicking won't get us any where, never has. It never will either," Ken said still confused about the lock.  
  
"Well I guess the only thing we can really do is talk until somebody comes up here and lets us out," Farfarello suggested.  
  
"Sounds like a plan sir, so who is this special some one you loved?" Ken asked curiously.  
  
"Well, erm," Farf began to blush, "It couldn't of happened. We were enemies, you know how that is."  
  
"Well why didn't you do what I did? You just say your good byes. Then you leave that group and make yourself worthy to the group you want to join," Ken said comfortingly. "Honestly, it works. you probably weren't hated by the other team like Weiss was with Schwarz. I mean. it was also easier for me. when that explosion happened. I can't believe I was the only one who survived."  
  
"Well we're all still alive over here."  
  
"True, but you probably weren't mortal enemies like the relationship between Weiss and Schwarz."  
  
"You'd be surprised about how similar the relationship was Ken," Farf looked down at his feet uncomfortably. "It was in fact. very similar, he was such a wonderful person too. He however was in love already. And I knew if I tried to end that love he would suffer, and I didn't want him suffering. I couldn't bring myself to do it. There were so many opportunities to do so. But I always resisted. He always made my smile when I looked at him, he was the most wonderful person in my life. and he hated me."  
  
"I know your pain Farf."  
  
"I know you do, which is why it makes it so hard for me to give up on that last love. I act as though I have moved on, but moving on is just to hard Ken, letting go is hard."  
  
"That it is Farfie, that it is. I think that if you were to tell this guy you loved him, he might return the feeling, I mean. you're a wonderful person. If I wasn't so afraid to love. I might even have feelings for you, but I'm not going to love for a long time. I can't take it. it's just to hard, the right person will come for me. I don't exactly know how or when. but that person will come," Ken looked over and smiled at Farf, who was still looking at the ground. Ken turned Farfie's head towards him, brushed the hair out of his forehead and kissed his forehead gently. "Don't you worry about a thing Farf, every thing will be all right.  
  
Tears streamed down Farf's cheeks as he stared into Ken's eyes. He couldn't look away no matter how hard he tried to resist. He felt himself being drawn closer and closer to Ken, unable to look away. "Ken. that person I love. that person . is."  
  
The door opened as Nagi entered the room. "Hey you two, lunch is ready. Brad made curry again."  
  
Muwahahahahahahahahahaaa! Sorry guys! I'm not ready for any lemony goodness yet! But give it time! Give it tiiime! Review please! 


	4. Lunch

I don't own Weiss nor do I get money off of this, almost wish I did though. Wonder if I'd get much. Schu/Brad Farf/Ken (not really, it's kinda cute with them in it though) Nagi/ no body, poor nagi-chan! No spoilers, just a scene in a kitchen.  
  
Ken and Farf sat looking at each other in shock, not knowing what to do next. Finally, Ken looked over at Nagi and said, "We'll be down in just a moment Nagi, erm, I just have to get this eyelash out of Farf's eye," He then poked Farf in the eye and said, "There we go! It's out Farf, no more twitching!" Ken smiled gently at Farf, knowing exactly what had happened. Ken then jumped up off of the bed and walked down the long corridor to the kitchen.  
Farf sat not knowing what to do next, "I-I'll be there in just a second," he said hurriedly to Nagi. Nagi turned on one foot and proceeded to walk away. Farf lied down on the bed and thoughts rushed through him as though they had burst through a damn. "Does he know? Does he care? If he knows, does he feel the same? Did I seriously just almost kiss Ken? I wonder if he would have kissed me. I just did something stupid, oh my goodness he'll never speak to me again. Now every time I see him he'll feel awkward," These thoughts flooded his mind for several minutes before a different voice entered his head. "GET DOWN HERE AND EAT BRADDIES CURRY."  
* * *  
"Schu, stay out of my mind, damn it," Farf quickly took a seat between Nagi and Ken, he looked anxiously at Schu.  
"No Farf, don't worry so much, I just went in, told you to come down and left. Stop sweating so much," Schu said noticing Farf's stare. Farf quickly slouched down in relief. Schu didn't know, and Ken was seemingly oblivious.  
Brad stood across the room in the kitchen, with a pink apron around him while he was about to taste the curry in the pan. It sizzled as he stood silently scooping it up with his chopsticks. Suddenly, two hands slid around his waist and a chill ran down his spine. He turned and smiled to Schu, who held him in his arms. Brad quickly kissed Schu and gave him a quick pat on the head. Neither of them said anything as they stood staring at each other. Nagi, Ken and Farf chose to ignore this public display of affection by talking to each other, while Brad stood entranced by Schu's gaze.  
Brad and Schu moved closer and closer to each other, never blinking, never looking away. Their noses then bumped each other and slid across one another as their lips placed themselves together, over and over again. Brad dropped his chopsticks and put his hands around Schu, he slid them up his back slowly until reaching Schu's hair at which point he ran his fingers through it. After several minutes of this passion, Schu broke away and whispered into Brad's ear, "I love you Brad, and I'm never letting you go," he then kissed Brad's ear and left the room.  
Brad looked over and saw Nagi, Ken and Farf extremely close to each other speaking rather loudly; Ken looked up and noticed it had ended. All three of them went quiet and smiled at Brad. He eyed them carefully and then went over to sit with them. All of them sat in silence as Brad opened up the paper. "Nagi, turn off the stove and serve the food would you?" Nagi said from behind the business section.  
Nagi did as requested and walked away. Ken and Farf sat next to each other in silence, Ken glanced at Farf, he knew that behind all of the scars and marks on his face, he was a beautiful person and he saw him as his most loyal friend. He quickly looked away when he noticed Farf turning his head, Farf looked at the back of Ken's head, for it was turned completely away, Farf sighed. He should have told him in the room, why had he not? Why was it that no matter how close he ever got to Ken, he was always so far away? Farf's answers would come to him one day, he knew they would, he just hoped the day came soon. Farf turned his head to Nagi as he turned around with four bowls in his hands.  
Nagi sat down and served every body their bowl, Ken and Farf reached for the same chopsticks and accidentally bumped hands. Farf looked away as did Ken. Ken, however, blushed. Ken quickly shot his hand up to his face, it was warm, he was blushing from bumping hands with Farf? Farf was his best friend, it was humorous, it was nothing. Ken turned and began to eat his curry, focusing on nothing but his food. Brad shuddered and then whispered, "Oh baby," then he quickly excused himself from the table and left the room.  
Nagi rolled his eyes and said, "I'm going to take a nap, that scene a few minutes ago was sort of traumatizing, I'll see you too later."  
This was Farf's moment, Ken was next to him, they were alone, Ken would finally understand. Yet Farf stayed quite still and said nothing, he uttered not a single word from his mouth during the entirety of the meal. He then stood up and took the bowls and stacked them.  
Ken glanced once more at Farf, why was he looking at him so often? Why did he smile so when he did? Ken knew not the answers to these questions, yet they bothered him greatly. He realized he was staring and turned away quickly. Occasionally, he would sneak a look at Farf, almost uncontrollably. Something about Farf seemed to light something inside Ken. A fullness in his chest, he then sighed loudly as he stared at Farf. Farf turned to him and Ken did not move quickly enough. He stood stunned, not knowing what he could do. He looked over to the door, he excused himself and walked through the doorway and left Farf alone in the room.  
A single tear ran down Farf's cheek from his now very watered eye. He came so close, and now Ken was catching himself stare at him. Farf smiled lightly to remember how Ken handled himself in a crisis situation. Poor Ken- kun was so sweet without even knowing it.  
* * *  
"What on earth am I doing?" Ken asked himself while lying on his bed. He lied and pondered the previous events that took place during his meal with Farf. "Why did I blush? Why couldn't I just stop looking at him? Why is it that when I am with him, I'm so happy, and yet, even before I leave I am saddened? And, what on earth is this bloody feeling in my chest? It's as if my whole heart is swelling up and pumping faster and faster to keep up with itself," Ken wondered until his eyes began to feel heavy and he drifted to sleep. 


End file.
